Anchors Aweigh

Fall seems to be a time for reunions, and as we make preparations to attend my husband’s 30th class reunion at the Naval Academy, I’ve been thinking about reunions, school reunions and family reunions.

My husband graduated from the United States Naval Academy in May of 1981. He was one of approximately 1,000 midshipmen to graduate that spring. Since then, we’ve returned to Annapolis almost every five years to see how well everyone has aged!

The first reunion we attended was the ten-year reunion in 1991. By that time, Tim had gotten out of the Navy and was flying for Delta Airlines. Many of his buddies were still active duty, so they shared stories of their military service. A few years later at the fifteen year reunion, people started bringing their children.

Over the years, we’ve watched those children grow up and move on. The twentieth reunion was a life-changing event for my son. We had taken him to some of the activities and he enjoyed mingling with the current crop of midshipmen. We had lunch in the wardroom, and Timmy spoke with mids who were planning to enroll in Navy flight school. They told him about their summer experiences and the ships they had sailed on.

My son was so impressed with the service academy opportunities that three years later he began his first year at the U.S. Coast Guard Academy. Had it not been for that reunion experience, he might have spent his college years somewhere else.

At the last reunion many of my husband’s classmates were sharing stories of sending kids off to college. We reminisced about packing them up and sending them off only to mourn the empty bedroom and the quiet house. Everyone agreed that it was something that was quickly gotten over! We laughed about watching our children grow up and become adults themselves.

This season, at the Navy football game tailgaters, grandchildren have begun to appear. The class of 1981 is moving on to its next phase. Grandparent-hood and even retirement. One of my husband’s classmates retired as a Navy Captain last year.

I remember attending football games with my husband when he was a student. We’d stroll around the parking lot looking at all of the class flags, 1940, 1945, 1955…We couldn’t imagine being that old and returning for a 30th or 40th year reunion. How old those people must be!

As we tailgate next week, I wonder how many young midshipmen and their dates will be saying the same thing! It’s hard to believe that time has flown by so quickly! But is sure is a wonderful feeling to hear all those old guys at the end of the game shouting “Go Navy! Beat Army!” Some things never change.

This blogpost ran as my column, The Empty Nest, in the Frederick News Post on Sunday November 6, 2011.

When in Scotland, Do as the Scots

Fall is a special eating time in our area, fall festivals, Oktoberfests, pumpkin pies, apple pies…all this food made me think of some international experiences my family and I have had with food.

When my daughter was a junior in college, she spent a semester studying abroad in London. As she was making plans and packing for her adventure, I was organizing a family spring break vacation in England and Scotland. We shipped her off in early January, and I began making reservations and writing itineraries.

Husband, son, and I flew into London on a Thursday in April and drove our rental car to the British American Drama Academy where my daughter was studying. It had been three months since I saw my baby girls and there were lots of tears of happiness when she walked out of the classroom to greet us. Then we were off!

Our next stop was a trip to her apartment to pick up her bags for our Easter weekend British escape. There were no classes at the academy on Friday, so we had decided to take an Easter holiday in the northern part of Great Britain. After a few hours of driving, we stopped to spend the night just outside of Liverpool. Our British culture-experienced daughter helped us make our dinner selections and then it was time to go to bed for a good night’s sleep.

The next day we rose early for a day full of site seeing. We stopped at Hadrian’s Wall on our way into Scotland. I wanted to see where the Romans had decided to end the empire. We also toured a Roman camp located near the wall. I was feeling quite like a relic.

After lunch, and some shopping, we opted for a scenic route into Edinburgh. We meandered through the hills of Scotland and I made my husband stop several times so that we could visit with the sheep and lambs grazing on those hills. Little did I know that we would be eating their ancestors the following day!

We had an afternoon visit at the Edinburgh castle and then were off to our hotel. The next morning, we went to the hotel restaurant for our Scottish breakfast. My husband had told us all about haggis. A traditional Scottish dish, haggis is the theme of Robert Burns’ poem Address to a Haggis. Haggis is a sausage made of sheep organs. Knowing all of this, my children and I feasted on haggis that morning. My husband, who has traveled all over the world and experienced all sorts of cultures, decided to pass. The kids and I had decided that while in Scotland we would do as the Scots!

Gastronomical experiences of a Teen

Fall is a special eating time in our area, fall festivals, Oktoberfests, pumpkin pies, apple pies…all this food made me think of some international experiences my family and I have had with food.

In the spring of 2000, we took our two children to Europe for the first time. We had planned a week’s vacation visiting friends who lived in Normandy, France. The plan was to spend some time in Paris and then a few days in Normandy. We wanted the children to see the beaches of the World War II invasion, and one of our friends was an expert on the history of the war. It would be quite an educational experience for all of us.

What I didn’t realize was that it would be a lesson in culinary etiquette for my teenage son. He wasn’t a great one for trying new things. The first night at dinner at our friend’s home, he gave me a funny look as the meal was being served and barely ate a thing. My dear friend, Martine, noticed and later that evening she asked me what foods Timmy really liked. I told her that he loved pizza, and so she offered to make pizza the following evening.

My son was expecting Pizza Hut pizza, not what Martine served. When she explained as we all sat at the dinner table that she had tuna pizza and ham pizza and anchovies pizza, I looked at my son whose eyes were at least twice their normal size. “You will eat this pizza if you want to live until tomorrow,” I gently whispered in his ear. “Try the ham pizza, you like ham.” Bless my poor son. He gleefully downed his ham pizza and smiled while he was doing it. Later that evening I told him how proud I was of him for trying something new.

A few nights later, we set out with our friends to visit a region of France further west. We stopped at a hotel in a very small town to spend the night. The following morning at breakfast, my son was in for another culinary experience.

The waitress came to our table and asked for our breakfast beverage orders. She offered coffee, tea, or hot chocolate. My son leaned over to me and whispered, “Mom, I don’t like any of those. Do they have milk?” I asked the waitress about milk and she agreed to bring some to the table with the rest of the beverages.

My son was quite pleased to have something at a meal that he wanted. I think that it was also a comfort to him to know that he would be fussed at for refusing to consume what was put in front of him.

The waitress placed the pitcher of milk in front of my son and he quickly poured some of the white beverage into his glass. He lifted the glass to his mouth and took a large gulp. His eyes widened just before the white liquid came spewing out of his mouth! The milk was warm, and my poor son was taken quite off guard.

I am proud to say that over the years, my son has improved in his international gastronomical experiences. He’s eaten shark and squid and even haggis in Ireland. It is comforting to know that our children do indeed grow up.

This post ran in my column The Empty Nestin the Frederick News Post on Sunday October 2, 2011.

The First Day

When you have kids, you typically go to great lengths to plan for their arrival. You recognize that certain activities in your life will give way to family events—preschool performances, dance recitals, sporting events, scouting programs, birthday parties…the list goes on. Family time becomes the focus of your daily scheduling. What you don’t plan for, and what takes you by surprise, is their departure.

The night before, we packed up all of the things that she would need. We carefully placed each item in her bag. There was the first check, the second check, and ultimately the last check. Did she have everything? I was sure she did. When I walked into her room to kiss her goodnight, all the goodnight kisses of the past came flooding into my brain. Where had the time gone? My little girl was all grown up.

The next morning the entire family piled into the car. I think parents and daughter alike were both excited…and nervous. I bit my bottom lip to make sure that the flow of tears didn’t begin before we dropped her off. The drive seemed to take forever. It was a very long five miles. I worried if she would be all right, if they would treat her kindly. Would she be able to open her lunch box all by herself? The knot inside my stomach continued to grow.

As we pulled into the parking lot, parents and children were holding hands, hugging, and smiling. There were backpacks and lunch boxes. I helped my baby girl out of the car as my husband gathered her bags. We all held hands as we crossed the parking lot to the door. I felt like I was in a time warp. It didn’t seem real.

When we finally reached the door to the school, I stroked her hair and held her face as I willed myself not to cry. As she watched all the other children, I noticed the excitement in my daughter’s eyes. She was ready to go. It was time. I hugged her and kissed her cheek, and then she was gone. She rushed to join the flow of children entering the school building.

What would I do now? My baby was gone. She was all grown up! Tears welled in the corner of my eyes. I looked back at the door to the school and wondered about what she might be doing and how she was getting along. Somehow I forced myself to begin the long walk back to the car.

Then I looked down at my son and quickly realized that there was still work to do! Number two had quite some time before this day would come for him. My job as Mommy was not as far done as I was beginning to think. There were still so many adventures to come. Kindergarten was just the beginning!

The Peace of Labor Day

When you have kids, you typically go to great lengths to plan their arrival. You recognize that certain activities in your life will give way to family events—preschool performances, dance recitals, sporting events, birthday parties…the list goes on. Family time becomes the focus of your daily scheduling. What you don’t plan for, and what takes you by surprise, is their departure. I’ve been talking recently with friends as they are making plans to take their “babies” off to college. It made me recall my experiences.

Labor Day 2004. A long three-day weekend. Both of the kids were home. My son had just completed his summer program at the U.S. Coast Guard Academy, and my daughter was home for the long weekend before she became engrossed with her senior year of college. Just the family.

I usually don’t enjoy cooking, but when the whole family is at home, cooking is something that I rarely mind doing. Setting the table for all four of us somehow makes me feel quite happy. Saturday and Sunday I cooked a big breakfast. After we ate, we sat and the table and talked and laughed for quite some time.

We spent time out by the pool—lots of quality family time. The end of summer was fast approaching, but we enjoyed summer’s pleasures that weekend. Crabs, baseball, sunshine, and swimming.

It went by all too fast. Monday morning we loaded up the car with all of my son’s gear and would soon be on our way to the train station at BWI airport. He was off to begin his freshman year of college. It was an exciting time. But as I stood at his bedroom door and gazed at the things that were so much a part of his growing up, it was a sad time. “Come on, Mom,” I heard my son bellow, “we’ll be late!”

I stood on the platform and watched that train until it was no longer visible. Then my husband and I got back in the car for the return trip home. Our daughter was still there, packing up for her ride back to college. We helped her pack up the car, hugged and kissed her, and then watched her back out of the driveway and head down the road.

That’s when it hit me. I turned to my husband and realized that it was just the two of us. We held hands and walked back into our empty nest. I know that there were tears in my eyes, but by the time we had settled into our chairs in the family room to finally read the newspapers from the weekend, I felt strangely at peace. This was the way it was supposed to be. We had prepared our kids to go off and do wonderful things, to learn, and to live. It was time for us to do the same thing.

I think it was then that I realized I had about three chapters to read for my master’s class. My homework was calling me. It was once again time to start down a new road to adventure!

This blog post appeared as my column, The Empty Nest, in the Sunday September 5, 2011, edition of the Frederick News Post.

Student Ambassadors

Every two summers I travel with a group of my students to Europe. I find that the experience makes them better students and that they grow and mature in immeasurable ways during the trip.

This summer was my travel summer. I was off with a group of seventeen for a two week tour in France and Italy. Prior to our departure, I always emphasize to my students that while they will be traveling and seeing many things, they also serve as ambassadors from the United States in every little thing that they do and say while abroad. For many of the Europeans that they encounter, my students are the very first “real” Americans that they meet. The students are not the stereotypical television characters that Europeans see on the U.S. sitcoms that are broadcast there. They’re real.

I took another group of "real" American teenagers this year, and I was quite proud of how they represented our country. After a few days in Paris, even my Latin students were greeting the Parisians with a smile and a “Bonjour.” All of my dear students attempted to order their food in French, and they smiled big smiles and replied with a heartfelt “merci” when they were understood.

My students met folks in southern France and in Italy with smiles and laughter. They waved and greeted cheerfully people that we passed in train stations and in public parks. They were prompt and polite.

Sometimes American travelers are viewed by natives in other countries as loud and rude. Many Americans travel to other lands expecting English to be spoken to them. They expect things abroad to be like they are at home. We Americans have also been fed the message for so long that “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas,” and that tends to be the vacation motto for many of us. But what happens in other countries helps to form an image of what Americans are really like, and that’s why I stress to my students the importance of their behavior while we travel.

One of my students even came to me during the trip to tell me that she had experienced rude American teenagers herself and that she completely understood my message of student ambassadorship. All of the students became increasingly aware of their noise levels in hotels and public places. They even monitored each other’s respectful behavior.

The U.S. was very well represented by this group of students from Catoctin High School. They let those that they encountered in Europe know that America’s youth is pleasant, fun-loving, kind, and respectful. It made the trip even more worthwhile.

Simple Lessons Learned Overseas

Every two summers I travel with a group of my students to Europe. I find that the experience makes them better students and that they grow and mature in immeasurable ways during the trip. I often tell people that I come back with a completely different group of students—same bodies, of course, just very changed young people!

This summer was my travel summer. I was off with a group of seventeen for a two week tour in France and Italy. As we landed in Paris, I thought of all the new experiences that awaited my students.

The first adventure was the trip to the ATM. For many of my students, the trip to Europe is their first experience handling their own finances. For some, they blow several hundred dollars the first day, not realizing that their money needs to last for ten to twelve days more. They also learn that the euro and the dollar do not have the same monetary value. When they check bank balances online, this is a quick realization.

Many of my students are very eager to try out their language skills. It’s usually about that time that they realize how very fast people talk. I love the stories about how they used their language skills to find their way back to the meeting place or negotiate a price at an open-air market. Their confidence levels increase dramatically, and their grins let me know that they are quite proud of their accomplishments.

My students also experience new foods. I always tell them that they cannot say that they don’t like something unless they try it. They know that I’ll accept and “I don’t like this” if they’ve experienced it. This trip, I had several brave ones try the escargots in France. They eagerly ordered, but once the plate of shelled creatures arrived at the table, some were a bit hesitant. A few of the boys were the first to try. Their reports of “it’s good” were the springboard for others to try. Not everyone liked, but those who were adventurous did try.

We saw many beautiful sites on the trip, and I think my students began to realize what a wonderful place this world on which we live truly is. They saw natural beauty and the beauty of structures that were thousands of years old. I heard more than once that we didn’t have anything like what they were seeing in the U.S.

The kids traveled by bus, train, plane, and boat. They toted luggage from place to place, and drank and ate many new things. Some things they liked, and some they didn’t, but they experienced them. My students encountered people of different colors who spoke very different languages and wore very different types of clothes, and they began to realize that while people are all very different, we are still the same in so many ways.

And with all of these learning experiences, I also think that they soon realized “there’s no place like home.”

This blog post ran as my column, "The Empty Nest," in the Sunday, August 7th edition of the Frederick News Post.