A Steady Job

After he graduated from the Naval Academy, my husband was off to Navy flight school in Pensacola, Florida. He spent six years as a naval aviator, and in the summer of 1987, he was hired by Delta Airlines. This summer he will begin his twenty-fourth year with Delta and I simply cannot fathom where the time has gone!

During the summer of 1987, the airlines were heavily recruiting military pilots from the Navy flight school in Florida. We had two small children and the idea of another sea deployment was not sitting well with me. My husband and I discussed the pros and cons of raising children in a military career. I really wanted them to grow up near extended family. So we compromised. He would try to get an airline job-we both knew that career also meant time away from family-but with the caveat that we would choose a home close to the Washington, D.C., area so that our son and daughter could be raised near family. An airline job would be a dream come true for us. Tim loved flying and I so desperately wanted to be near family and back home in Maryland.

Tim started the job application process. He had to get a commercial aircraft rating which involved private flying time and a new license. Once that was acquired he sent out applications to all of the major airlines. We were elated when Delta called him for an interview. He headed off to Atlanta for his interview and I waited anxiously for news about how things went. The day of his interview, I woke at 4:04am. I glanced at the clock at precisely that time. It had to be a good omen, 404 was the area code for Atlanta. So I fell back to sleep.

I heard my son moving in his crib and woke again. This time it was 7:27am. Another omen! If my husband were to be hired by Delta, he would begin by flying as a flight engineer on a Boeing 727! I was feeling very lucky and gleefully went to get my now cooing baby boy from his crib.

As the hours in the day went by, I decided to call my mother in Maryland to pass the time. I told her Tim was in Atlanta and I was waiting somewhat patiently for his call. She told me she had dreamt that she saw Tim in an airline uniform and how strange the dream was. We giggled about how the dream might be some sort of omen. I confessed to her my experiences with the clock. A few hours later, my husband called to say that things had gone well. We could expect to hear something in the next few weeks. And so the anxious waiting began.

I remember a morning in early August when my children and I were in the kitchen having breakfast. My husband had left earlier to go to work. The phone rang. I had been so engrossed in the morning routine that I really didn’t give any thought as to who might be calling. My heart began to pound when the woman on the other end said that she was with the human resources department at Delta Airlines and could she please speak with Tim Jarman. I took a very deep breath and calmly explained that he was at work, but I would get a message to him very quickly and have him return her call. My hand was shaking as I hung up the phone.

I dialed the phone as quickly as my shaking hands would allow. “Call her fast,” I said, “And then call me right back.”

Almost twenty-three years have passed since that day. How did they pass so quickly?

Where does time go?

Where does time go? Can it be possible that it has been thirty years since I met the love of my life? Saturday July 19, 1980, seems like it was a lifetime away and yet it seems like it was just yesterday. It was the summer break between my sophomore and junior year of college. My dear friend, Rose, and I decided to drive to Annapolis on a hot Saturday evening to check out the plebes (the freshmen) at the Naval Academy. It sounded like good sport. Little did I know that that evening would forever change my life.

For about an hour, Rose and I strolled around the campus, but if there were any midshipmen there, we surely did not see them. So we decided to leave the academy grounds and head into Annapolis. Maybe we would find people there. As we were walking through Dalgren Hall, a young man who was obviously part of the grounds crew or janitorial staff at the academy passed us and greeted us with an “Evening, ladies.” He was wearing green corduroy bell bottom pants and a faded Farrah Fawcett t-shirt along with his brown suede leather boots. His attire was quite outdated and quite inappropriate for a hot July evening. Rose and I knew immediately that this ill-dressed but kind young man could not have been a midshipman and so we assumed he was some sort of academy personnel.

When we went to exit the lower level of Dalgren Hall on our way off the academy grounds, that ill-dressed grounds crewman was at the door to let us out. He told us that he was on his way into town to mail a letter. As we walked and talked with this kind young man, we learned --much to our surprise-- that not only was he a midshipman, but he was a member of the senior class! We continued our walk and our chat and he introduced himself; Tim, from North Carolina. The next thing we knew, we stopped in front of a bar and grill appropriately named “Timmy’s” and our new friend invited us in for a drink.

We sat down and continued our conversation. We laughed and talked, and I quickly realized that I very much like this ill-dressed young man. Soon the three of us decided to head into Baltimore and visit the inner harbor, but I told Tim that we would only go with him if he changed his clothes before we left. I gently explained to him that his outfit just wasn’t suited for the big city! On our way to Tim’s car, we met another midshipman, Terry, whom we invited to join us. Tim offered to drive, and I was quick to take the seat up front by him.

The next several hours flew by. We ended up sitting on top of Federal Hill looking down at Baltimore’s harbor. And we talked and laughed. When we finally realized what time it was, we had to make a mad dash back to the academy. Tim and Terry had missed curfew! Funny though, the young man who I thought ill-dressed and a member of the academy grounds crew, knew how to sneak back into the school through a window on the first floor of Bancroft Hall!

It was 4am when Rose and I finally left the Naval Academy. When I got home, I didn’t sneak up to my room. I went straight into my parents’ bedroom and I woke my mother. I had something extremely important to tell her. “Mom,” I whispered to her, “Tonight I met the man I’m going to marry.” “That’s nice, dear,” she said. “Now, go to bed.”

That was thirty years ago. Tim is still the love of my life, and he still has fashion issues!

Our House

After my son graduated from college and had packed up to move into his first apartment, we were sitting on the sofa talking. From out of the blue he said, “You know, this is really the only home I have ever known.” He was almost twenty-two and we had moved in just before his fifth birthday. Seventeen years in the same house. I hadn’t thought about it. That was two years ago and so this summer we celebrate nineteen years in our home. Where has the time gone?

In the fall of 1990, we began searching for our dream home, but my husband and I were dreaming of different things! I was dreaming of raising our children on a small farm with a restored old farmhouse. Unfortunately, everything we found that was already restored had a price tag that was way beyond what we could have afforded. My husband was dreaming of a house with no maintenance. The compromise was a four acre lot in the southwest corner of the county and a house that was partially under construction.

Since the house was not yet finished, we were able to make some adjustments to the design to make it more compatible with our lifestyle. We moved in the day before settlement which was scheduled for June 1, 1990. It felt so good to be settled. We were in our home-the place where we would establish our family traditions and raise our children. Our daughter was eight years old and our son was four. The thought of their growing up and leaving home never crossed my mind. That was a lifetime away.

We spent our first summer planting grass and trying to establish things like a lawn and flower beds. My kids discovered that their favorite place to play was at the stream near the end of our lot. They made friends with the neighbors and I painted rooms and hung curtains. Eventually, we began adding things to the house like a deck and patio. Years later a fenced yard and a barn for the horses my daughter and I had always dreamed of having.

The grass took root as did some small trees. The bulbs I had so carefully planted that first year continued to produce beautiful flowers each year. Summer, fall, winter and spring each held household traditions. Summer was for play and for swimming. Fall was back to school and Halloween. Winter brought snow storms and snow days. And every spring our little place on earth sprouted bright green once again.

There were happy days and sad days, busy days and lazy days. The trees and the flowers grew, and so did my children. When they left for college, I wondered how the time had gone by so quickly. The house changed. It had more quiet times. There were still those bursts of activity and noise each holiday break and summer vacation, but the quiet days became more frequent.

Today as I sip my coffee and look out at our property, the tall trees shade the backyard. My flower beds are beaming with brilliant color. The lawn is a beautiful lush green and well trimmed, the way my husband likes it. The house is quiet except for the thumping of the tail of a very contented dog. And I wonder where all that time went.

This post appeared in my column "The Empty Nest" in the Frederick News Post on Sunday July 4, 2010.