Springtime Grandfather

It has not been a difficult winter, but all the same, I’m anxious for spring. Spring makes everything come alive again. The old becomes new. It’s such a beautiful time of year.

I’ve recently had the opportunity to watch my husband rejuvenate, to step back into the spring of life. Our first grandchild was born in December, and it has been a blessing to observe my husband once again at play. The last time we babysat, he was lying on the floor with Chloë and showing her some of her toys. It didn’t matter that these toys made sound on their own, my husband was playing master of creating sound effects. The baby’s huge grin gave him all the more reason to continue his entertainment.

After he went through his repertoire of sound effects, he began singing. Now, my husband doesn’t sing just any old songs. He’s known in the family for his creativity with lyrics. I heard him singing that night about beautiful Chloë, the best princess. The more she smiled, the more he sang.

Then he scooped her up into his arms, kissed her cheeks, and gazed at her with such loving eyes. The memories of those scenes with our two children came flooding back. My husband, father of our children, is now a doting grandfather, and he is quick to recall those skills that he once used.

He helps with Chloë’s bath and her feedings. He reads her bedtime stories. He even sat with her for quite some time watching Sesame Street. My little boy was as enthralled as my little granddaughter!

He’s got that spark in his eyes whenever he mentions Miss Chloë to people. “She’s so advanced,” he’ll gush. He carries pictures of her with him so that he can show anyone he happens to meet on the street his beautiful granddaughter.

His step is lighter, he’s playful and laughing. I see in him all of the wonderful qualities that I saw when we were much younger. He’s the boyfriend who used to help me when I was babysitting during our college years. He’s the young father who wanted to play an active role in the raising of his children. He’s the little boy at play.

He is again the wonderful “young” man that I fell in love with over thirty years ago. When I catch him in childish behavior, I always get the promise that he’ll grow up…”one day.” But I love the boy. I love his crazy playfulness, the spark in his eye, this “springtime” in life.

But as I reflect on spring, I am suddenly reminded that the mulch will be delivered soon. There’s work to be done. Methinks that upon mentioning yard work, the “springtime” husband will suddenly retreat into winter. The old back, you know. And he’s not as young as he once was! Ah, spring!

Global Babysitting

I’ll admit that when my children were growing up I would often think about my future days as a grandmother. I envisioned Sunday afternoon dinners at the house when all of the kiddies would gather around the table with me. It was that way when I was growing up; the Sunday ritual of my grandmother surveying her tribe. Yup…that’s what I thought would happen. But things change, times change.

I was reading recently about the type of grandmother I am. I fit into the category of “global grandparent.” There’s actually a book about this new phenomenon, “How To Be A Global Grandparent.” My grandbaby lives on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean and so my experience is different.

As a child, my number one babysitter was my grandmother. When my parents needed someone to look after us, there were no questions asked. We were off to grandmother’s house. Well, getting Miss Chloe to my house so that her parents can go out for a romantic evening alone is not likely to happen! They’d have to take two days just to transport her back and forth. But with our work schedules and my husband’s airline employee benefits, grandparent babysitting is still a global possibility for us! Thank heavens!

We recently had our first babysitting experience. For a belated anniversary present we promised my daughter and son-in-law a nice dinner out with babysitting service provided. Now the actual babysitting experience was not out of the norm. Before they left, the nervous parents showed us where all the supplies were for feeding time and bath time. My daughter even left an instruction sheet on how to bathe an infant! Like I had no experience!!! After five or six, “oh, and don’t forget to do this..” the nervous new parents FINALLY left!

Then it was just the three of us! We were in heaven! Two middle-aged adults cooing and making faces for an obviously quite entertained little one. There was her feeding and then her bath time. It all seemed like old times, and everything came back so easily and naturally.

What seemed a bit unnatural about the experience was that the day prior we had taken an eight-hour overnight flight from New York to Amsterdam. The Dutch language on all of the baby products made me quite cautious with lotions and powders. The metric measurements on everything required some math and some thought! Although I am getting a little better on the weekly weight and length reports. The first time my daughter told me that my granddaughter weighed almost 3700 grams, I thought she must me a huge baby! Well, the math said that she was a little over seven pounds, but as a global grandparent, I had to do the math!

The world is becoming smaller and smaller every day, and global grandparenting will no doubt become more common place. I just count my blessings every day that we have airline benefits so that global babysitting can occur! I think it’s now one of my favorite activities.

Grandparenting Language Barriers

I’ll admit that when my children were growing up I would often think about my future days as a grandmother. I envisioned holding my grandbabies on my lap and just chatting. When I was small there was nothing like a good talk on grandma’s lap. Yup…that’s what I thought would happen. But things change, times change.

I was reading recently about the type of grandmother I am. I fit into the category of “global grandparent.” There’s actually a book about this new phenomenon, “How To Be A Global Grandparent.” My grandbaby lives on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean and so my experience is different.

Now I realize that there have always been generation gaps. My grandmother had trouble with words like “groovy” and “peace out.“ But the language barrier that I might be living with is a real language barrier, My granddaughter lives in a country where a completely different language is spoken, one that I know very little of.

So it could be that when these chats I dream about occur I won’t understand a thing! And when I mumble words of my English language to my beautiful Miss Chloe, she might think that I’m an old woman who can’t speak intelligibly and has completely lost her mind (well, that’s not too far from the truth!), because she won’t understand me.

It’s becoming abundantly obvious that this old dog must learn some new tricks. So I’m beginning to practice my Dutch. I have learned goedemorgen (hello) and dankuwel (thank you) and that B is een bier. (and that’s “B is for bear”-my 25-year old son got all excited thinking we had found a children’s book about beer!).

I’ve also been trying to learn about the Dutch culture which is now part of my granddaughter’s heritage. I’ve tried eating many of the foods that she’ll be eating so that we can at some point discuss culinary likes and dislikes. I’m learning that Christmas is not as big a holiday as Sinterklaas, St. Nicolas Day. I’m not sure how my husband’s deeply-rooted southern family will feel upon learning that in the Netherlands, St. Nicolas’s helper is a black boy named Zwarte Piet (Black Pete) and that Dutch children wear black-face make-up during the holiday pretending to be their favorite character, Piet.

This “global” family situation will be a great learning opportunity for the entire family. Sharing languages and cultures. It truly is a small world after all.

Global Grandparenting

I will admit that when my children were growing up I would often think about my future days as a grandmother. I envisioned Sunday afternoon dinners at the house when all of the kiddies would gather around the table with me. It was that way when I was growing up; the Sunday ritual of my grandmother surveying her tribe. Yup…that’s what I thought would happen. But things change, times change.

I was reading recently about the type of grandmother I am. I fit into the category of “global grandparent.” There’s actually a book about this new phenomenon, “How To Be A Global Grandparent.” My grandbaby lives on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean and so my experience is different.

With modern 21st century technology, however, I am able to visit with Miss Chloe four or five times a week. We visit via the computer technology, Skype. Skype is a computer program that lets you see the person you are speaking with online. On any given day, if you come to the house between 10am and 2pm, you are likely to find me and Tim visiting with Chloe. In fact, we’ve seen Chloe almost every day since she was born.

We’ve been dubbed the “flat people.” Yes, we’re rather one-dimensional. Miss Chloe is accustomed to see her grandparents on a computer screen. During our most recent “real” visit, Tim said that the expression on Chloe’s face was her reaction to seeing the flat people in 3D.

While this modern technology is simply amazing, it is still not good enough. I can’t count the number of times that I have reached out to touch that baby, only to be disappointed by the feel of the screen. And yes, I have kissed that cold hard screen many times just wishing that it could be the real thing.

But it does help. It’s the medium that my daughter and son-in-law used to date. It’s difficult to go out on the weekend when your date lives almost five thousand miles away. It’s the medium that my husband and I will use to visit regularly with our granddaughter. Email, Facebook, Skype--they are all the tools for global daters and global grandparents. It’s how we make things work, and work they must.

It’s not exactly the grandparenting I had envisioned many years ago, but it’s the grandparenting I live. And I am thrilled to be a grandparent. So on any afternoon, I can still look out at my tribe, it’s just different.

New Year's Resolutions

I don’t typically make New Year’s resolutions. My experience has been that by February 1st they are long forgotten. This year, however, might be slightly different.

As I was holding my beautiful granddaughter for the first time and gazing down at her perfect face, I envisioned her first day of school, her first piano recital or horseback riding competition, her first date, the driver’s license…And I realized how much I wanted to be a part of those events. So I did the math…to see her graduate from high school, I have to make it to roughly 68. College graduation would add another four years, putting me at 72. A wedding might bump me up to 75.

Suddenly good health became the item of the day. I need to turn this 51-year old body around! I’ve been putting off the dreaded colonoscopy. And on the flight home from seeing that baby for the first time, I read an article about diabetes and it’s rise in the United States. So I guess I might want to have some blood work done at my next physical. Each year, the doctor tells me that I’m healthy and good to go, but I think we need to work on healthier. Healthier might make those high numbers like 75 look more realistic!

I’m thinking about pulling the old tennis rackets out of the garage. It’s been a few years since hubby and I have played, but it might do us some good. Next on my list is a good pair of walking shoes. Those strolls along the C&O towpath might have to turn into power walks now so I can get my heart rate up and get a good work out. My son keeps telling me to run with him, but I don’t think that I want to be that healthy!

I’ve been trying to put more fruits and vegetables into our diet. I keep telling my husband that we need our five to seven daily servings. As much as I dislike the “flavorlessness” of water, I might just have to start suffering, and give up my diet Coke. Well, maybe not completely give it up, but I could add more water. I can just pinch my nose when I drink it and pretend!

It’ll be tough, I know, but seeing my princess walk down the aisle in about twenty-five or thirty years could make it all worthwhile. We thought about calling out for Chinese tonight…maybe we should do a salad. Posting Chloë’s picture on the fridge might serve as motivation. It’s worth a try!

It’ll have to stay up there beyond February 1st though if this thing is going to work out!

This blog post ran as my column post for "The Empty Nest" in the Frederick News Post on Sunday January 1, 2012

A New Gift

Each new year, it’s fun to start off with something new. A new dress, a new pair of shoes. This year, I start with the gift of a new baby. My beautiful granddaughter arrived December 9th and we were thrilled to finally meet her on Friday the 23rd-just two days before Christmas. What a gift!

No, I don’t think I’ll be exchanging this gift. She’s perfect. Ten beautiful fingers, ten beautiful toes, two amazing eyes, and a perfect little nose. She looks just the way that I hoped she would. Gorgeous! And she’s the right size, too! Small enough to squeeze into my carry-on luggage when I try to smuggle her away from her parents! While I’ll admit that I was terribly tempted to try the whole smuggling thing, I passed on the opportunity!

But I did spend some time with my new gift before, during, and after Christmas. I must admit that this particular gift was one that I couldn’t take my eyes off of, and one that I just wanted to hold and look at. Barbra Streisand sings a holiday song called “The Best Gift.” It’s about the best gift being a new born child, and she’s absolutely right!

Now with every gift at the New Year come resolutions about its proper use. I plan to “use” my gift as often as I possibly can. I’ll use her to play games with, to read to, and to talk to. I’ll certainly take lots of pictures of my new gift. In fact, I’ve taken quite a few already. Then there will be quiet times with my new gift when I will just hold her and cuddle her. I have so much to look forward to!

This gift will also be used in another way as I watch my granddaughter’s mother. I think that those moments might be an even more precious gift; watching the little girl whom I raised to raise her own.

When my daughter laughs out loud because her daughter smiles or does something silly -that will be a gift for me. I’ll remember the times when she and I did the same things. I’ll recall how her hair smelled when I drew her into my arms for a big hug. Reliving those special moments through my own daughter’s eyes will be a real gift.

When I watch my daughter tuck her precious one into bed, I’ll celebrate my gift. I’ll know that my baby is experiencing the joy of motherhood. In those brief moments, I’ll recall my own wonder as I watched my babies sleep; the peaceful breathing, and the look of contentment.

So my gift will be quite special in the coming year. I know that she will bring me the same joy all year long that she did that morning I first laid eyes on her. The bonus of my gift will be sharing the joy of motherhood with my own daughter. The miracle of birth, the miracle of a mother’s love, the best gift of the year to me!

The Great Anticipation

Even though she wasn’t due to arrive until December 15th, our little princess decided to make her debut a bit early and appeared on the 9th. Our plans had been made to meet her on the 22nd, and due to some prior commitments, we decided not to change our original plans.

The morning of the 22nd, I was filled with great anticipation! I could not wait to see her face, to touch her hand, to hear her voice. But the fates would not allow us to easily reach our goal.

Due to board a 12:55 flight to Detroit, we were arrived at the gate only to find out that the flight had been delayed. Finally, taking the two last seats on the plane, we stowed our bags and took our seats. I anxiously looked at my watch several times. What could be delaying us?

It was then that the captain came on the PA system and announced that we were “overweight.” Too much fuel had been loaded on the aircraft. The solution was to burn off some fuel on the tarmac. So we sat and sat while the engines revved and revved. Finally, after almost two hours, we took off. We arrived too late for our connecting flight to Amsterdam and had to take a later flight. The time just crawled by!

Finally, we boarded the plane, only to find out that our departure would be delayed by thirty minutes because of an airport curfew. I kept thinking that my baby girl would be finishing her first year of college before I ever saw her!

I slept a few hours on the flight, too anxious and too excited to really rest. As soon as I could, I called my daughter after we landed. She said that the baby had had a rough night and that they were in the midst of a feeding, would it be possible for us to take the train to Amersfoort! Another delay!

We bought our train tickets and waited for what seemed like an eternity for the train to arrive. The forty minute train ride felt like it took forty days. My son-in-law met us at the end of the train platform and led us to their parked car. No baby, and no daughter. They were back at the house. Bram told me it was less than a ten minute car ride to the house, but it seemed like ten hours.

As he pulled up to the curb in front of the house, I don’t even think he had the keys out of the ignition, I was out of the car and on my way to the front door!

I rang the bell, and then impatiently went to look in the front window. There she was nestled on a baby cushion sleeping soundly--the most beautiful sight in the world.

My daughter opened the door, and I pushed her aside as I very sweetly said, “Oh, hello.” I was on a beeline to the living room and that beautiful child. As soon as I touched her the floodgates broke loose. I swept her up in my arms and kissed her beautiful little cheeks at least a hundred times. The anticipation of the holiday, the anticipation of the great joy it brings…yeah, I felt that!