His Native Language

My son-in-law is Dutch and Dutch is his native language. While he was growing up, he also spent some time living in France and so he is fluent in French as well as Dutch. As a teenager, he joined a Boy Scout troop where meetings were conducted in English and he soon became fluent in English. I marvel at his ability to rapidly switch between the three languages. At a holiday gathering that included guests who spoke all three languages, Bram communicated with each person in his or her native language. It was truly impressive.

As a linguist, I was impressed with one particular instance of my son-in-law’s language usage. We were invited to my Uncle Bob’s for dinner one evening. My aunt and uncle take pride in preparing gourmet meals and then elegantly serving them to their guests. Of course, wine and the selection of the wine are important components of the meal. Uncle Bob makes sure that his guests never have an empty wine glass.

That was also the case on this particular evening. It was Bram’s first experience with an Uncle Bob meal. He didn’t realize that the faster he drank his wine, the faster Uncle Bob would refill. There were several times when I think Bram wasn’t even aware of the refilling. In any case, he was feeling quite happy at this family gathering.

Conversation flowed just as easily as the wine. We laughed and shared stories. We told Bram all about Tiffany when she was growing up. My son, Tim, filled his future brother-in-law in on special experiences he and Tiffany had shared. It was well after midnight when we finally got up from the table to head home.

As we had brought two cars, my son volunteered to be the designated driver for one of the cars. He had to be up early the next morning and hadn’t had any wine, so he drove my daughter and her then fiancé home. With the happy couple seated in the back, my son served as chauffeur.

On the ride home, while my daughter slept, the “boys” conversed about a bunch of things. It was a good time for them to get to know each other better. But at one point, whether it was because he was tired or had had too much wine, Bram said something in Dutch. Tim thought that Bram was mumbling because he was tired, so he asked him to repeat what he said. It wasn’t until that point that Bram even realized he had switched languages.

It just goes to show that when we are not 100% ourselves our brains revert to what they know best. In this case Bram’s brain went to the language it knew best. My son still has not learned any Dutch, but there have not been any major communication differences between the two since then. My son recognized that his brother-in-law doesn’t mumble, he just speaks words that Tim doesn’t understand!

The Man of Her Dreams

As my daughter was growing up, I knew that some day she would move off and live on her own. What I never dreamed of was her moving so far away! While she was a college student, Tiffany worked as a performer at the Maryland Renaissance Festival. Each year her role in the festival changed and ultimately she was selected to perform the role of Katherine Howard. The festival follows the story of Henry VIII of England, and Katherine became Henry’s fifth wife.

In the fall of 2007, Tiffany was playing Lady Katherine Howard. In the story line, the king had not yet selected her to be his bride, but Katherine was a member of the court. Tiffany was thrilled to once again be part of the cast as many of the players had become close friends. One of those friends was Melissa.

Melissa met her real life Irish husband online and they had been married for several years. During the festival that fall, the godfather of Melissa and Colin’s daughter was visiting. His name was Bram and he was visiting from the Netherlands. You see, Colin and Bram had grown up friends while both of their fathers were working in Belgium. They maintained their friendship even after both had moved on.

Between shows at the festival, Bram was introduced to the Lady Katherine Howard. The introduction lasted just a few minutes, but on the ride to the airport the following week, Bram questioned Melissa about the young actress who played Katherine Howard. He even asked for her email address.

Melissa quickly phoned Tiffany who agreed to the exchange. About ten days later, my daughter received an email that would ultimately change her life-and mine, too.

“What harm can come of an email correspondence with someone in Europe?” I told my daughter when she asked what I thought. “If nothing else, you’ll develop a friendship.” So I actually encouraged this.

Well, emails led to skype sessions and telephone calls. In November, my daughter set out on a trip to Amsterdam to really meet Abram Johann Jansen. When I dropped her off at the airport she told me that over the two months of correspondence with Bram she felt like he was her best friend. “Mom,” she whispered in my ear, “I think he might be the one and this trip will let me know for sure.”

That was on a Friday. I was to pick her up four days later. Sure enough when I met her again at the airport, she hugged me and said, “I have found the man of my dreams.” Almost to the exact day one year later, they were married. In the twenty-five years that I had known my daughter, I had never seen her as happy as she was with Bram.

Just as in the old world, explorers headed to the new world for adventure and treasure, my son-in-law came the U.S. to find his queen. And now I have three children. My son, my daughter and my son-in-law, who is worth his weight in gold for the happiness he brings to my first born. I just wish he brought her all that happiness a bit closer to home.

And so we begin

In May of this year, I passed my comprehensive exams for my doctoral program. I was assigned a dissertation committee chairperson and we had our first official dissertation meeting in August. Just this week, I submitted to her about seven or eight pages of my writing. We met, she gave me some feedback, we chatted and developed a time line for my progress.

My dissertation committee is in place. Three women whom I respect and trust. Three women who are dedicated to the instruction of language. Three women who dedicate themselves to being the best teachers so that their students will learn and grow. How fortunate am I. I have a husband and family who are supportive of my work. My husband listens as I rattle on about studies and methods. And I have students who are eager to bestow upon me next year the title of "Dr. J." I can do this.

I sit at my computer and realize that I am actually in the process of writing a doctoral dissertation. It's a bit overwhelming. When I look at what I must complete, I ask myself if I can really do this and am I completely crazy. Why at fifty years of age would one do something like this! And then I consider all that I have already learned from my program. My teaching has improved so much because I have implemented methods that I have read about and studied. The implications of my research will improve that.

But wow! Three chapters by the end of November and it is now September 11. And so I begin...