They Say That Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

As we enter the month of Thanksgiving, I have been reflecting on events that have changed the course of my life. I was recently listening to the song “This by Darius Rucker. He sings about “every stoplight I didn't make, every chance I did or I didn't take,” all those things that could have happened but didn’t led him to where he is today. And he wouldn’t change a thing. That’s how I’ve been feeling.

When I was a senior in high school, I met a college student named Mike. We dated my entire senior year and he was my date to the prom. He even came to Ocean City when my friends and I were there for senior week. I spent every weekend with Mike and most evenings with him on the phone.

In college, Mike and I talked about getting married. We dreamed about how we would spend the rest of our lives together. I was so happy. Our relationship continued into my sophomore year of college. During Christmas break that year, Mike became somewhat distant. I knew that something was wrong but I just could not put my finger on it. I worried about what was going on but tried to keep my chin up.

Finally in February, the bomb dropped. Mike called to tell me that he wanted to break up. I thought it was the end of my world. How would I survive without him? I cried and cried, and when I thought I was all cried out, I cried some more. I stopped eating. I didn’t want to be with my friends. I just wanted to be comforted by my misery.

Whenever the phone rang, I would jump. Maybe he was calling to say that he missed me, that he wanted to get back together. But the phone calls were never for me. I started to lose weight and my grades began to drop. In short, I was no fun! But fortunately, I had some really good friends.

One of those friends was Rose. She called me one weekend and said “Let’s go out! We should head down to Annapolis and check out the midshipmen!” Reluctantly, I agreed. Little did I know that that night would forever change my life.

We were walking through Dalghren Hall when a nice young man passed us. As we exited the building, that same young man was there holding the door for us. The three of us walked, and chatted, and laughed. When I got home very late that night, I woke my mother to tell her that I had met the man I was going to marry. That was thirty-two years ago, and I look forward to celebrating thirty-one years of marriage with that nice young man!

And I will be forever thankful that Mike broke up with me!

The photo above is of that handsome midshipman on our first "official" date. This blogpost appeared in my column, "The Empty Nest," in the Frederick News Post on November 3, 2012.