When my husband and I got married almost thirty years ago, we came to an agreement that gifts on anniversaries or Valentine’s Day were not necessary. We decided to simply share some time together and exchange cards that expressed our feelings for each other.
For some reason, I have never felt that my husband needed to give me something to show how much he loved me. I always knew that by the way he lived each day, the way he kissed me every morning, held my hand or my belt loop just so he could touch me. I knew he loved me when he’d get up in the middle of the night to check on a crying child so that I could get my rest. Everything little thing he did told me quite loudly and clearly that he loved me.
So, I never expected gifts. We’d spend a nice quiet evening together on those special days, holding hands and just looking at each other. Then we’d share our cards. I’ve kept every single one of those cards! When we were younger, I’d put dates on them and sometimes include where we had dinner or a little note about what we did.
What always bothered me was the reaction I received when I was asked what Tim got me for Valentine’s Day. My response was always “a card.” Some of my friends were appalled with my answer. “You mean you got absolutely nothing! Not even flowers?”
Now, there’s a story about flowers. I love them, but my dear husband fails to see the purpose of giving a gift that will die. He explained his logic, and I understood. That doesn’t mean I still don’t love flowers! I just don’t expect them as a gift from him. So you can imagine my shock when he came home from a trip once with a bundle of flowers for me.
“What did you do?” I asked him. “Why are you feeling guilty?” I gave him the inquisition. “All the other guys were buying flowers for their wives, so I thought what the heck.” My poor husband didn’t realize that his simple action would bring my wrath upon him. I told him that he never felt flowers were necessary before and that he was obviously trying to hide something from me. Why else would he have so dramatically changed his behavior?
Needless to say, I don’t get flowers any more. That’s another agreement we’ve come to in our marriage! I was content never having received them , and the drama that they caused when I did made the agreement essentially a no-brainer!
This year Tim and I will have a special Valentine’s dinner. We’ll exchange our cards, and when I am asked by those friends what gift I received, I will tell them that I didn’t get flowers or chocolates or jewelry, but I have the gift of love from my husband. A gift that I will cherish for the rest of my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment