Gastronomical experiences of a Teen

Fall is a special eating time in our area, fall festivals, Oktoberfests, pumpkin pies, apple pies…all this food made me think of some international experiences my family and I have had with food.

In the spring of 2000, we took our two children to Europe for the first time. We had planned a week’s vacation visiting friends who lived in Normandy, France. The plan was to spend some time in Paris and then a few days in Normandy. We wanted the children to see the beaches of the World War II invasion, and one of our friends was an expert on the history of the war. It would be quite an educational experience for all of us.

What I didn’t realize was that it would be a lesson in culinary etiquette for my teenage son. He wasn’t a great one for trying new things. The first night at dinner at our friend’s home, he gave me a funny look as the meal was being served and barely ate a thing. My dear friend, Martine, noticed and later that evening she asked me what foods Timmy really liked. I told her that he loved pizza, and so she offered to make pizza the following evening.

My son was expecting Pizza Hut pizza, not what Martine served. When she explained as we all sat at the dinner table that she had tuna pizza and ham pizza and anchovies pizza, I looked at my son whose eyes were at least twice their normal size. “You will eat this pizza if you want to live until tomorrow,” I gently whispered in his ear. “Try the ham pizza, you like ham.” Bless my poor son. He gleefully downed his ham pizza and smiled while he was doing it. Later that evening I told him how proud I was of him for trying something new.

A few nights later, we set out with our friends to visit a region of France further west. We stopped at a hotel in a very small town to spend the night. The following morning at breakfast, my son was in for another culinary experience.

The waitress came to our table and asked for our breakfast beverage orders. She offered coffee, tea, or hot chocolate. My son leaned over to me and whispered, “Mom, I don’t like any of those. Do they have milk?” I asked the waitress about milk and she agreed to bring some to the table with the rest of the beverages.

My son was quite pleased to have something at a meal that he wanted. I think that it was also a comfort to him to know that he would be fussed at for refusing to consume what was put in front of him.

The waitress placed the pitcher of milk in front of my son and he quickly poured some of the white beverage into his glass. He lifted the glass to his mouth and took a large gulp. His eyes widened just before the white liquid came spewing out of his mouth! The milk was warm, and my poor son was taken quite off guard.

I am proud to say that over the years, my son has improved in his international gastronomical experiences. He’s eaten shark and squid and even haggis in Ireland. It is comforting to know that our children do indeed grow up.

This post ran in my column The Empty Nestin the Frederick News Post on Sunday October 2, 2011.

The First Day

When you have kids, you typically go to great lengths to plan for their arrival. You recognize that certain activities in your life will give way to family events—preschool performances, dance recitals, sporting events, scouting programs, birthday parties…the list goes on. Family time becomes the focus of your daily scheduling. What you don’t plan for, and what takes you by surprise, is their departure.

The night before, we packed up all of the things that she would need. We carefully placed each item in her bag. There was the first check, the second check, and ultimately the last check. Did she have everything? I was sure she did. When I walked into her room to kiss her goodnight, all the goodnight kisses of the past came flooding into my brain. Where had the time gone? My little girl was all grown up.

The next morning the entire family piled into the car. I think parents and daughter alike were both excited…and nervous. I bit my bottom lip to make sure that the flow of tears didn’t begin before we dropped her off. The drive seemed to take forever. It was a very long five miles. I worried if she would be all right, if they would treat her kindly. Would she be able to open her lunch box all by herself? The knot inside my stomach continued to grow.

As we pulled into the parking lot, parents and children were holding hands, hugging, and smiling. There were backpacks and lunch boxes. I helped my baby girl out of the car as my husband gathered her bags. We all held hands as we crossed the parking lot to the door. I felt like I was in a time warp. It didn’t seem real.

When we finally reached the door to the school, I stroked her hair and held her face as I willed myself not to cry. As she watched all the other children, I noticed the excitement in my daughter’s eyes. She was ready to go. It was time. I hugged her and kissed her cheek, and then she was gone. She rushed to join the flow of children entering the school building.

What would I do now? My baby was gone. She was all grown up! Tears welled in the corner of my eyes. I looked back at the door to the school and wondered about what she might be doing and how she was getting along. Somehow I forced myself to begin the long walk back to the car.

Then I looked down at my son and quickly realized that there was still work to do! Number two had quite some time before this day would come for him. My job as Mommy was not as far done as I was beginning to think. There were still so many adventures to come. Kindergarten was just the beginning!

The Peace of Labor Day

When you have kids, you typically go to great lengths to plan their arrival. You recognize that certain activities in your life will give way to family events—preschool performances, dance recitals, sporting events, birthday parties…the list goes on. Family time becomes the focus of your daily scheduling. What you don’t plan for, and what takes you by surprise, is their departure. I’ve been talking recently with friends as they are making plans to take their “babies” off to college. It made me recall my experiences.

Labor Day 2004. A long three-day weekend. Both of the kids were home. My son had just completed his summer program at the U.S. Coast Guard Academy, and my daughter was home for the long weekend before she became engrossed with her senior year of college. Just the family.

I usually don’t enjoy cooking, but when the whole family is at home, cooking is something that I rarely mind doing. Setting the table for all four of us somehow makes me feel quite happy. Saturday and Sunday I cooked a big breakfast. After we ate, we sat and the table and talked and laughed for quite some time.

We spent time out by the pool—lots of quality family time. The end of summer was fast approaching, but we enjoyed summer’s pleasures that weekend. Crabs, baseball, sunshine, and swimming.

It went by all too fast. Monday morning we loaded up the car with all of my son’s gear and would soon be on our way to the train station at BWI airport. He was off to begin his freshman year of college. It was an exciting time. But as I stood at his bedroom door and gazed at the things that were so much a part of his growing up, it was a sad time. “Come on, Mom,” I heard my son bellow, “we’ll be late!”

I stood on the platform and watched that train until it was no longer visible. Then my husband and I got back in the car for the return trip home. Our daughter was still there, packing up for her ride back to college. We helped her pack up the car, hugged and kissed her, and then watched her back out of the driveway and head down the road.

That’s when it hit me. I turned to my husband and realized that it was just the two of us. We held hands and walked back into our empty nest. I know that there were tears in my eyes, but by the time we had settled into our chairs in the family room to finally read the newspapers from the weekend, I felt strangely at peace. This was the way it was supposed to be. We had prepared our kids to go off and do wonderful things, to learn, and to live. It was time for us to do the same thing.

I think it was then that I realized I had about three chapters to read for my master’s class. My homework was calling me. It was once again time to start down a new road to adventure!

This blog post appeared as my column, The Empty Nest, in the Sunday September 5, 2011, edition of the Frederick News Post.

Student Ambassadors

Every two summers I travel with a group of my students to Europe. I find that the experience makes them better students and that they grow and mature in immeasurable ways during the trip.

This summer was my travel summer. I was off with a group of seventeen for a two week tour in France and Italy. Prior to our departure, I always emphasize to my students that while they will be traveling and seeing many things, they also serve as ambassadors from the United States in every little thing that they do and say while abroad. For many of the Europeans that they encounter, my students are the very first “real” Americans that they meet. The students are not the stereotypical television characters that Europeans see on the U.S. sitcoms that are broadcast there. They’re real.

I took another group of "real" American teenagers this year, and I was quite proud of how they represented our country. After a few days in Paris, even my Latin students were greeting the Parisians with a smile and a “Bonjour.” All of my dear students attempted to order their food in French, and they smiled big smiles and replied with a heartfelt “merci” when they were understood.

My students met folks in southern France and in Italy with smiles and laughter. They waved and greeted cheerfully people that we passed in train stations and in public parks. They were prompt and polite.

Sometimes American travelers are viewed by natives in other countries as loud and rude. Many Americans travel to other lands expecting English to be spoken to them. They expect things abroad to be like they are at home. We Americans have also been fed the message for so long that “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas,” and that tends to be the vacation motto for many of us. But what happens in other countries helps to form an image of what Americans are really like, and that’s why I stress to my students the importance of their behavior while we travel.

One of my students even came to me during the trip to tell me that she had experienced rude American teenagers herself and that she completely understood my message of student ambassadorship. All of the students became increasingly aware of their noise levels in hotels and public places. They even monitored each other’s respectful behavior.

The U.S. was very well represented by this group of students from Catoctin High School. They let those that they encountered in Europe know that America’s youth is pleasant, fun-loving, kind, and respectful. It made the trip even more worthwhile.

Simple Lessons Learned Overseas

Every two summers I travel with a group of my students to Europe. I find that the experience makes them better students and that they grow and mature in immeasurable ways during the trip. I often tell people that I come back with a completely different group of students—same bodies, of course, just very changed young people!

This summer was my travel summer. I was off with a group of seventeen for a two week tour in France and Italy. As we landed in Paris, I thought of all the new experiences that awaited my students.

The first adventure was the trip to the ATM. For many of my students, the trip to Europe is their first experience handling their own finances. For some, they blow several hundred dollars the first day, not realizing that their money needs to last for ten to twelve days more. They also learn that the euro and the dollar do not have the same monetary value. When they check bank balances online, this is a quick realization.

Many of my students are very eager to try out their language skills. It’s usually about that time that they realize how very fast people talk. I love the stories about how they used their language skills to find their way back to the meeting place or negotiate a price at an open-air market. Their confidence levels increase dramatically, and their grins let me know that they are quite proud of their accomplishments.

My students also experience new foods. I always tell them that they cannot say that they don’t like something unless they try it. They know that I’ll accept and “I don’t like this” if they’ve experienced it. This trip, I had several brave ones try the escargots in France. They eagerly ordered, but once the plate of shelled creatures arrived at the table, some were a bit hesitant. A few of the boys were the first to try. Their reports of “it’s good” were the springboard for others to try. Not everyone liked, but those who were adventurous did try.

We saw many beautiful sites on the trip, and I think my students began to realize what a wonderful place this world on which we live truly is. They saw natural beauty and the beauty of structures that were thousands of years old. I heard more than once that we didn’t have anything like what they were seeing in the U.S.

The kids traveled by bus, train, plane, and boat. They toted luggage from place to place, and drank and ate many new things. Some things they liked, and some they didn’t, but they experienced them. My students encountered people of different colors who spoke very different languages and wore very different types of clothes, and they began to realize that while people are all very different, we are still the same in so many ways.

And with all of these learning experiences, I also think that they soon realized “there’s no place like home.”

This blog post ran as my column, "The Empty Nest," in the Sunday, August 7th edition of the Frederick News Post.

Take-off

Every two summers I travel with a group of my students to Europe. I find that the experience makes them better students and that they grow and mature in immeasurable ways during the trip.

This summer was my travel summer. I was off with a group of seventeen for a two week tour in France and Italy. We flew out of Dulles International Airport, which for me was not a new experience, but we were excited to be flying on an Airbus 380. The A380 is the world’s largest commercial aircraft and has a seating capacity of 525. Even my airline pilot husband was thrilled about the plane that would be taking us to Europe.

What I hadn’t planned on was my reaction to my students’ experience on the flight. Many of them had never been on an airplane before. Some were scared. Some were excited. When we were called for boarding, we all took our seats on the upper level of the aircraft. I checked to see that all of the kids were in their seats and secured. Then I buckled my own seatbelt as I had so many times before.

The huge aircraft backed out of the gate and began its taxi to the runway. I could hear my students giggle and chatter at the prospect of taking off. I leaned back and smiled. It was so good to hear and feel their excitement.

As the plane picked up speed for takeoff, I turned around to watch my students. I was totally taken off guard by what happened next. My student, Maranda, was seated diagonally from me next to her sister. Maranda had never flown before. As that A380 moved faster and faster, Maranda’s grin grew bigger and bigger. When we lifted off the ground, she squealed out an announcement that we were in the air. The shear delight in her eyes was priceless.

That’s when I started to cry. Takeoffs and landings had become old hat for me. I had forgotten the shear wonder of flight. Maranda let me experience it all over again. I felt the plane shift and turn and was once again amazed by something that had become so common place in my life.

Yes, I travel with my students so that they can have rich experiences and learn about other cultures and ways of life, but what they fail to understand is how enriching these trips are for me. I learn and experience things anew by seeing them through my students’ eyes.

Maranda taught me on this trip how special all of the little things in life are and how if we pause and think about all the tiny, wonderful things that happen to us on a daily basis life is indeed a miracle. I learned that I need to pause and take time to smell the roses. There are so many of them around me.

Breaking the News

I knew something was strange the day after Mother’s Day. Early that morning, I had fixed my coffee and sat down in my office to check my email. The first message that I opened was from my daughter. There was no subject in the subject line. That should have been the first indicator that something was up.

I clicked open the email and read what my daughter had written. She said that she and my son-in-law, Bram, were going to have to change their vacation plans and it was important that “we discuss it with you and Daddy.” “Our phone isn’t working,” she continued, “so we were hoping you guys could Skype with us around 10:30.” I immediately replied that that would be fine, I would make sure we were both on Skype at that time.

I hit send, and that’s when I began to realize that something was up. “Why would they have to talk to both of us about their vacation plans?” I thought to myself. It didn’t really matter what they wanted to do for their vacation, they certainly didn’t need to consult us. And since when would my daughter want input from me on something like her plans. So, I picked up the phone and dialed her number in The Netherlands. It must have rung fifteen times. “That’s odd,” I thought, “We just spoke yesterday and the phone was working fine.”

About an hour later, I tried calling again. Just like before, the phone rang repeatedly with no answer. I thought about sending her another email, but I reasoned that we would discuss the matter in just a few hours, so I could wait.

But in truth, I couldn’t wait. Something was going on, and in my gut, I knew it. What vacation plans did they have that might possibly affect me and my husband? They were due to come home in September, but there weren’t any plans that we had that couldn’t easily be changed. She could have simply said what she needed to in an email or when we spoke on Mother’s Day.

My husband and I were in the truck heading back to the house after some errands when it hit me. “She’s pregnant,” I said. “That has to be it.” Tim thought that I had completely lost my mind. “How do you get that she’s pregnant from vacation plans?” he asked. But deep in my heart, I knew that I was right.

By the time we got into the house and turned on the computer, I had several emails and Facebook messages from my daughter. We were late. It was 10:40pm her time. We signed on to Skype and were greeted with various pleasantries. “OK,” I finally said. “Tell me about these vacation plans.”

“We can’t come home for Christmas this year,” my beautiful daughter was saying. “The baby is due on the 20th.” And with that my dream for the past three years was fulfilled. I’ve been practicing and preparing to be a grandmother. Now it was really going to happen. What a gift!